In a surreal twist of environmental activism, a group of climate warriors calling themselves “GreenSmoke Revolution” staged a fiery protest against Elon Musk yesterday by setting ablaze a pile of Tesla electric vehicle batteries. Their message? A cryptic “NO DOGE” spelled out in massive plumes of toxic black smoke, visible for miles over the San Francisco skyline. The stunt, meant to criticize Musk’s environmental impact and his on-again-off-again obsession with Dogecoin, has left onlookers baffled and air quality monitors screaming in distress.

The group, led by self-proclaimed “eco-shaman” Luna Starfire, gathered in a vacant lot near the Bay Area, where they reportedly doused the batteries in kerosene before lighting them up. As the flames roared, sending thick, acrid smoke billowing into the atmosphere, the activists danced in a circle, chanting, “Down with Musk, down with Doge!” Starfire, draped in a hemp poncho and holding a smoldering sage stick, explained the group’s logic to a perplexed crowd of onlookers.

“Elon Musk claims to be saving the planet with his electric cars, but it’s all a sham!” Starfire bellowed, waving her arms dramatically as the batteries popped and hissed behind her. “Tesla’s production is a carbon nightmare, and don’t even get me started on his Dogecoin nonsense—crypto mining is killing the Earth! We’re sending a message he can’t ignore: NO DOGE!”

The “NO DOGE” message, carefully crafted by positioning the burning batteries in a pattern, took nearly an hour to become legible in the sky. By then, the local fire department had arrived, along with hazmat teams who were less than thrilled about the cocktail of lithium, cobalt, and other chemicals now raining down on the city. San Francisco’s air quality index reportedly spiked to “apocalyptic” levels, prompting health officials to issue an immediate advisory for residents to stay indoors and seal their windows.

Ironically, the protest has drawn sharp criticism from fellow environmentalists, who pointed out the hypocrisy of burning batteries to make a point about climate change. “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen,” tweeted Sierra Club spokesperson Jenna Greenleaf. “Those batteries release heavy metals and greenhouse gases when burned. They’ve probably done more harm to the environment in one day than a Tesla factory does in a month.”

Musk, never one to shy away from a spectacle, responded to the protest with characteristic snark on X. “Nice smoke signals, but I’m pretty sure Doge doesn’t care,” he posted, alongside a meme of the Dogecoin Shiba Inu wearing sunglasses and sipping a martini. He followed up with, “Also, maybe don’t burn batteries? Just a thought.”

The “NO DOGE” message has sparked a flurry of reactions online, with #NoDoge trending on X within hours. Some users found the protest hilariously absurd, with one commenter writing, “Climate activists burning batteries to protest EVs is like vegans opening a butcher shop to protest meat—peak 2025 energy.” Others speculated that the “NO DOGE” message was a dig at Musk’s cryptocurrency antics, which have long been a point of contention among his critics. Dogecoin, a meme-based cryptocurrency Musk has championed since 2021, has been blamed for encouraging energy-intensive crypto mining, though its environmental impact pales in comparison to Bitcoin.

GreenSmoke Revolution, however, remains unapologetic. In a press release posted to their blog (powered, ironically, by a coal-reliant web host), the group doubled down on their stance. “Elon Musk is a false prophet of sustainability,” the statement read. “His Tesla empire is built on exploitation, and his Dogecoin obsession is a distraction from real climate solutions. We’ll keep burning until he listens!”

Local authorities have slapped the group with a hefty fine for illegal burning and environmental violations, and the EPA is reportedly investigating the long-term impact of the stunt. Meanwhile, Starfire and her crew are already planning their next protest: a “symbolic cleansing” of a SpaceX launch site using glitter bombs and recycled kombucha bottles. “We’re just getting started,” Starfire warned, as she coughed through a cloud of lingering smoke.

As for Musk, he seems unfazed, tweeting late last night, “If they really want to send a message, they should try Morse code next time. Less pollution, better vibes.” Whether the “NO DOGE” smoke signals will have any lasting impact on Musk’s empire remains to be seen, but one thing’s for sure: the irony of this protest is thicker than the smog it left behind.

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