(New York, NY) — The National Weather Service has issued an urgent flash flood warning as record-breaking liberal tears inundate streets, homes, and entire city blocks in the wake of Donald Trump’s re-election victory. According to forecasters, the “great deluge” began shortly after polls closed, and officials warn that the emotional downpour may continue for weeks.

“We’ve never seen anything quite like it,” said a spokesperson for the National Weather Service. “The volume of tears is surpassing previous records set by prior unexpected election results.”

A River Runs Through It

With floodwaters rising faster than ever, some areas have even resorted to sandbagging streets against the influx of weeping from major liberal strongholds like Portland, San Francisco, and Manhattan. Waterlogged city officials are urging residents to steer clear of viral social media posts on the topic to prevent further emotional outpourings.

Blame the “Tearpocalypse”

Psychologists speculate the mass “tear-pocalypse” could have an extended timeline, with more waves of emotional flooding expected as Twitter and TikTok posts multiply. “People are bracing for additional floods with each trending post,” said Dr. Alana Feelsman.

“We recommend high boots and a snorkel for anyone commuting in the coming days,” added local meteorologist Rick Watershed. “And don’t forget an umbrella — the forecast calls for an 80% chance of liberal tears, with sob showers expected until at least Inauguration Day.”

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