NEW YORK—In a last-ditch effort to secure her position as New York Governor, Kathy Hochul has resorted to a shocking tactic: attempting to woo black voters back to the Democratic Party by calling them “ignorant, sheltered monkeys.” The governor, who is trying to bring back defecting blacks, believes that this approach will resonate with African American voters and secure Biden’s victory at the polls. 

“I’ve always been a strong supporter of the black community,” Hochul said in a recent press conference. “And I believe that the best way to show my support is by calling them ignorant, sheltered monkeys. It’s a term of endearment, really.” 

Hochul’s strategy has already raised eyebrows among political analysts, who question the wisdom of her approach. “I’m not sure if calling black people ‘ignorant, sheltered monkeys’ is really the best way to win their votes,” said one political pundit. “It seems like it might be a little bit, well, condescending.” 

Despite the criticism, Hochul remains undeterred in her pursuit of the black vote. “I know that some people might be uncomfortable with my language,” she said. “But I truly believe that by calling black people ‘ignorant, sheltered monkeys,’ I am demonstrating my deep respect and admiration for them.” 

As Election Day approaches, many are left wondering whether Hochul’s desperate attempt will pay off. Will black voters flock to her banner, drawn by her unapologetic honesty and her willingness to call a spade a spade? Or will they reject her outright, offended by her blatant disregard for their dignity and humanity? 

Only time will tell, but one thing is certain: no matter the outcome, Kathy Hochul’s tenure as governor will be remembered as one of the most bizarre and bewildering in New York’s history. And as for her plan to lure black voters back to the Democratic Party by calling them “ignorant, sheltered monkeys,” well, let’s just say that it’s not exactly what one might call a “tried and true” strategy.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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