Gov Northam calls second State of Emergency to change his diaper after threatening gun rally

Virginia Governor Ralph Northam has declared a second State of Emergency in order to change his diaper after the Virginia Civil Defense League Lobby day. Northam was terrified after Antifa protesters were too scared to leave their mother’s basement to show up and defend the capitol.

Governor Ralph Northam, suddenly a fan of walls, was not only able to wall off the area surrounding the Virginia Capitol, but had gotten Mexico to pay for the wall and more importantly, place media where they could block the view of the speakers. However, another incident at the Gun Rights day has caused even more pain to those wanting a gun-free society. During the speaking event, Arkansas Gun Rights Activist and owner of The Gun Cave Jan Morgan stormed the ledge of the Virginia Capitol and gave a speech in full view of the crowd, possibly offending thousands.

Mainstream media officials tried to edit out the incident using footage from a Kentucky gun range but failed to block the livestreamed event in time. Governor Ralph Northam has declared a 2nd State of Emergency on the State Capitol Grounds so that the entire building can be decontaminated from gun powder residue and other conservative cooties.

Cleaning has been subcontracted to the new Harry and Meghan’s Royal Cleaning service. Michael Bloomberg has pitched in to help with this scandal by bankrolling the group Moms Demand Gun Owners Stay off Ledges. George Soros has now funded the group Capitol Ledges Matter. Both groups have been booked for TV interviews later this week.

Another issue regarding Jan Morgan’s Ledge attack is effect of climate change. By placing her shadow on the building designed by Thomas Jefferson, the conservative decreased the temperature on the building resulting in more fossil fuel usage for heating to maintain comfort for state government officials. Greta Thunberg herself, has condemned the ledge incident and other climate changing actions done by gun rights activists. 

The Virginia Legislator, while busy passing bills that allow felons to vote, increase the difficulty to recall the Blackface Infanticide Governor, & other government power increasing legislation, the majority democrat government body has also worked on ways to deal with future ledge incidents. “We could block the view of the Capitol during speaking events with anti-suicide bedsheets from the New York Department of Corrections” said Virginia State Representative Bloomburgiss Mimaster. Creating “armed-citizen free” zones signs is another idea being debated. Something will have to be done before the next conservative gathering at the state capitol building. The 2020 Virginia March for Life for instance is February 13th.