If you don’t want your children stabbed, you’re probably a far-right extremist

I don’t know who needs to hear this but if you don’t want your kiddos gettin’ poked with sharp stuff, you’re a far-right extremist. Let me elaborate.

It has come to my erudite attention that a peculiar narrative has been advanced, purporting that a propensity for one’s little kids to evade impalement from penetrative objects held by austere people of color like what happened in Dublin earlier today is inextricably intertwined with an ostensible proclivity toward far-right ideologies. Theorize we must upon this enigma, for verily, it beguiles the astute intellect.

In the sanctum of my triple doctorate eminence, with accolades festooned in gender studies no less, I am compelled to opine that the societal discourse has undergone a peculiar metamorphosis. In the epoch of yore, the endeavor to ensure the physical inviolability of one’s progeniture was a consensual precept transcending ideological schisms. Yet, in the contorted contemporaneity, the act of insulating one’s offspring from potential puncture wounds elicits an acrimonious nomenclature reminiscent of the political fringe.

It behooves the sagacious observer to ruminate upon the intricacies embedded within the so-called scholarly treatise proffering a correlation between the instinctual desire for progenital safeguarding and the ostensible far-right tenor. One conjectures that such an inquest was conducted within the hallowed precincts of an ivory tower, resplendent with academic accoutrements, all smooth contours and devoid of protuberances that might proffer inadvertent abrasions to the intellectual faculties.

In summation, permit me to proffer the soliloquy that the inherent safeguarding instinct, heretofore deemed apolitical, has been thrust into a Byzantine realm where it dons the vestige of extremist affiliation. Let us collectively rally against this commodification of our offspring’s security, emancipating the discourse from the shackles of categorization and advancing a convivial exegesis beyond the obfuscating spectra of ideological divides.


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