Millions of young people anxiously waiting to be told what they should be offended by in 2019

Millions of college students and millennials are anxiously awaiting to be told what they should be offended by in the new year.

“We’re so mad!” Laurie Foss, student at Penn State University said. “But we haven’t been told where we should direct that anger yet, so it’s causing a little anxiety.”

Joss Hilton, a barista at a Seattle coffee shop with a PhD in Gender Studies agrees. “2019 is going to be a year of social change. We’re going to end the oppression that lurks everywhere. But we just haven’t found exactly what that oppression is yet.”

Young people across the country are reporting what doctors are calling premature triggering, a new psychological condition. They know that they are angry, but they don’t know which evil public personality to direct their anger toward.

“We’re going to change the world!” Foss exclaimed. “But we’re not sure what we’re going to change it to. The powers that be haven’t told us yet.”


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