THE CITY OF WASHINGTON—With the city’s skyline transformed into a canvas for divine intervention, Elon, draped in robes that glowed with the light of a thousand LED screens, approached King Donald, who sat upon a throne made from the finest gold, yet weighed down by the burdens of governance.

Elon spoke with the wisdom of the ages, “What if there are fifty righteous people in USAID? Will you truly bring it to ruin, and not spare it for the sake of those fifty?”

King Donald, resplendent in his royal attire, yet with the demeanor of one unaccustomed to such spiritual discourse, replied, “Verily, I say unto thee, I love the sacred texts, but this is not about sparing or destroying. It’s about making the kingdom great again. If corruption is found, we shall cleanse it, righteous or not.”

The Tech Prophet, undeterred, continued in the spirit of Abraham, “What if there are forty-five righteous? Or thirty? Or ten?” Each query was met with responses from the king that ranged from divine confusion to earthly pragmatism, “We shall see what the future holds,” to “I have the best of my court looking into it, trust in me.”

Witnesses to this spectacle whispered among themselves, marveling at the sight. “It’s as if we’ve stepped into a scroll from the Old Testament,” one onlooker remarked, while another pondered, “Is this debate over the heart of our nation or merely a grand performance?”

The event drew the eyes of the world, with scrolls and parchments (or rather, social media feeds and news outlets) filled with depictions of Elon as a modern Moses, leading his people through the wilderness of bureaucracy, while King Donald was cast in the role of a Pharaoh, resistant to change yet bound by the laws of heaven and earth.

Scholars, both of scripture and politics, debated the implications, humorously wondering whether Elon or Donald would have fared better in the original biblical negotiation with the Almighty. This confrontation has not only highlighted the moral quandary of corruption but has also breathed new life into ancient texts, making them relevant in an age where technology and faith intersect.

In this extraordinary narrative, where the lines between tech mogul and prophet, king and politician blur, one thing is certain: the audit of USAID by the DOGE has become a battleground for the soul of the nation, echoing the timeless struggle between righteousness and power.

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