Pope Francis says priests can bless Sodom & Gomorrah

In a stunning display of divine inclusivity, Pope Francis, the head of the Catholic Church, has announced a groundbreaking expansion of the Church’s blessing jurisdiction. Priests are now permitted to bless not only homes, pets, and pasta but also the infamous biblical cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. The move has raised eyebrows, along with hopes for divine intervention in the most unexpected places.

In a press release delivered from the Vatican, Pope Francis declared, “The Lord’s blessings know no bounds. We are called to spread love, compassion, and holy water to every corner of the Earth, even the ones with a dubious biblical history.”

The decision comes as part of the Pope’s ongoing efforts to modernize and adapt the Church to contemporary values, embracing a more inclusive and forgiving approach to biblical cities known for their colorful past.

“It’s a bold step forward in embracing diversity within our religious practices,” commented Father Chuck Humbleton, a priest from the Vatican. “Now, when we say ‘May the Lord bless this house,’ we truly mean every house, regardless of its biblical backstory.”

Not everyone is thrilled about the Pope’s latest divine venture. Traditionalists within the Church have expressed concerns about the potential slippery slope of blessing historically controversial locations.

“We’re all for inclusivity, but where do we draw the line? Are we going to start blessing other ‘problematic’ biblical sites next? I hear Jericho has a questionable reputation,” lamented one concerned parishioner.

Despite the skepticism, Pope Francis remains resolute in his mission to extend blessings to the most unexpected places. “Our faith is built on redemption and forgiveness. If a city like Sodom or Gomorrah wants a fresh start, who are we to deny them a sprinkle of holy water?” he pondered, raising a ceremonial vial with a twinkle in his eye.

As priests across the globe prepare to embark on their newfound blessing duties, the faithful are left wondering which biblical city will receive divine approval next. For now, the Pope’s message is clear: when in doubt, bless it out.


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