Local college grad says it’s ‘impossible’ to find a job these days
In a world where individuality and creative expression are celebrated, there exists a young college graduate who has taken the...
Year: 2024
AOC: Billionaires shouldn’t be able to influence government; only triple PhDs with no real-world work experience should do that
In the grand tapestry of American politics, where every thread is either a dollar bill or a promise of one,...
AOC: Billionaires influencing government is evil (unless they fund only Democrats of course)
In the hallowed halls of Congress, where the air is thick with the scent of justice, equality, and occasionally, the...
Biden recalls Kwanzaa memories growing up in Scranton, PA
WASHINGTON, DC—In a heartwarming trip down memory lane, President* Joe Biden regaled the audience at the White House Kwanzaa celebration...
Local dad surprised by the Christmas gifts he gave his kids because his wife did all the shopping
In a heartwarming holiday twist, local resident Mark Thompson was left utterly astonished by the Christmas presents he ostensibly chose...
BREAKING: American Airlines to use flying reindeer to pull airplanes amid technical glitch
American Airlines has announced that their fleet will temporarily be powered by flying reindeer after a catastrophic software glitch grounded...
Family makes annual trip to donate last year’s Chinese junk to make room for this year’s Chinese junk
The Smith family has perfected an annual ritual that combines the spirit of giving with the art of decluttering. On...
Kamala Harris unsure how to pay off campaign debt but certain about how to run the US economy
Washington D.C. - In the wake of a challenging presidential campaign, Vice President Kamala Harris finds herself grappling with a...
Crenshaw dyes hair purple to win back ‘Most Revolting Person In DC’ title
WASHINGTON, DC—In the heart of the nation's capital, a title has been passed from one lawmaker to another in a...
CNN: Car mostly-peacefully drives itself into Magdeburg Christmas market
GERMANY—A car, seemingly driven by the spirit of Christmas itself, embarked on a "mostly peaceful" journey through the Magdeburg Christmas...
