BREAKING: Trump appoints David Hogg as US Ambassador to Faghanistan
In a move that has left political commentators, diplomats, and the entire nation of Faghanistan (which, for the record, does...
Month: December 2024
Local white supremacist protesters demand figgy pudding and won’t go ‘until we get some’
Several suburbs across the metropolitan area have been besieged by live action role-players protesting seemingly random homes with demands of...
These prominent Democrats are vowing to skip Trump’s inauguration
WASHINGTON, DC—In a display of political theater that could only be described as both bizarre and predictable, several high-profile Democrats...
Man who accidentally left 300,000 guns for Taliban gives lecture on gun control
WASHINGTON, DC—The man who accidentally left 300,000 guns for the Taliban and is sending millions of dollars in weapons to...
BREAKING: Biden offers free healthcare and $6k a month to aliens invading New Jersey in drones
Biden offers free healthcare and $6000 a month to all the aliens invading new Jersey in drones TRENTON, NJ—President* Joe...
BREAKING: Franklin fire near Malibu leaves several Hollywood elites stranded, unable to run their Satanic pedophile rings
MALIBU, CA—In a shocking turn of events, the Franklin Fire around Malibu has not only scorched over 4,000 acres of...
BREAKING: Elon Musk becomes the first person on earth with enough wealth to fund the federal government for more than 5 minutes
WASHINGTON, DC—Billionaire Elon Musk has officially reached a level of wealth where he could, theoretically, fund the operations of the...
BREAKING: Patriot Front announce they will shut down the same day Wray steps down as FBI Director
WASHINGTON, DC—The white nationalist group Patriot Front has declared it will disband on the same day FBI Director Christopher Wray...
BREAKING: Woman confused why she didn’t find Mr. Right while having sex with 100 men in 14 hours
In what can only be described as the most ambitious quest for love in modern times, Lily Phillips, known in...
Following traumatic fall, Mitch McConnell says he will continue to stare blankly into space as senator
Washington D.C. - In a scene that could only be described as a blend of slapstick comedy and political theater,...
