BREAKING: Suburban protesters demanding figgy pudding and won’t go ‘until we get some’

Several suburbs across the metropolitan area have been besieged by live action role-players protesting seemingly random homes with demands of figgy pudding.

Police have been called to several locations.

“They just stood out there chanting, ‘We won’t go until we get some; we won’t go until we get some!” Happy Creek resident Clark Griswald said. “It’s been very unnerving for the kids!”

No arrests have been made, but very few people have given into the bizarre demands of these protesters.

Figgy pudding isn’t all they have demanded. Some have demanded “cups of good cheer.”

“I mean they look nice enough, but the noises they make are just horrible. And we don’t have figgy pudding. Never have!” Griswald added.