BRILLIANT: Tesla unveils ‘Original’ and ‘Extra Crispy’ models
AUSTIN—In a move that’s equal parts genius and gloriously unhinged, Elon Musk has once again turned disaster into dollar signs,...
Year: 2025
Mitch McConnell Shatters Personal Record with 25-Hour Blank Stare, Inspired by Cory Booker’s Filibuster
In a feat of stoic endurance that left even the most jaded Capitol Hill observers in awe, Senate Minority Leader...
Cory Booker’s 17-Hour Education Filibuster Ends in Epic April Fools’ Prank: “I Had You All!”
In a stunning display of political stamina and theatrical flair, Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ) concluded a grueling 17-hour filibuster on...
BREAKING: Pam Bondi releases all Epstein Files, announces arrest of all 366 of Epstein’s clients
Attorney General Pam Bondi announced today the full release of the long-awaited Jeffrey Epstein files, accompanied by the arrest of...
BREAKING: April Fool’s Day cancelled because reality is so ridiculous
US President* Joe Biden has cancelled the national holiday April Fool's Day due to severe competition from the ridiculousness of...
BREAKING: Scientists discover that chickens lay more eggs when you stop killing billions of them for no reason
Researchers at the Institute of Feathered Futures (IFF) have uncovered a startling truth: chickens lay more eggs when you stop...
BREAKING: Federal judge orders bombs removed from Tesla dealership to be put back and detonated
Federal Judge Hugh Jassole has ordered that a cache of bombs, recently removed from a Tesla dealership, be promptly returned...
BREAKING: Fedral Judge Signs Temperairy Restrayneing Ordur To Save Dept Of Educ.
In a stunnin display of judishul prowiss, Federal Judge Ray Sist, a shinin star of America’s edukashun sistem, scribbled his...
BREAKING: Millions of Catholics devastated as Pope Francis has not died at 88
VATICAN CITY, March 24, 2025 – A wave of disappointment has swept through the Catholic world today as millions of...
BREAKING: District Court Judge overrules WWII victory, orders US to give Normandy back to Nazis
District Court Judge Hugh Jassole has declared the United States’ victory in World War II “legally invalid,” ordering the immediate...
