Fetuses identifying as MS-13 gang members to get Democrats to start fighting for their rights
US—Millions of fetuses across the United States have reportedly begun identifying as members of the notorious MS-13 gang, hoping to...
Month: April 2025
BREAKING: Pope Francis dies happy after meeting with JD Vance
Pope Francis has passed away, reportedly with a beaming smile on his face, mere hours after a private audience with...
BREAKING: Trump agrees to transfer illegal gang members to the houses of Supreme Court judges who say he can’t deport them
In a stunning escalation of his immigration crackdown, President Donald Trump has announced a jaw-dropping new policy: transferring illegal gang...
Democrats: It was okay for Kilmar Garcia to beat his wife because ‘she obviously wasn’t listening’
CALIFORNIA—In a baffling twist that’s left political analysts reaching for the aspirin, prominent Democrats have rallied behind Kilmar Abrego Garcia,...
BREAKING: Sen Van Hollen claims it’s ‘disgusting’ that Kilmar Garcia can’t be home in Maryland to beat his wife on Easter like he used to
Maryland, April 17, 2025 — In a stunning display of political passion, Senator Chris Van Hollen (D-MD) has taken to...
AOC vows to torch her Tesla made by that ‘stupid billionaire’ as soon as she figures out how those magic firesticks work
In a bold move to rally young Democrat voters, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) has pledged to set her Tesla ablaze,...
Catholic Nuns Cure ADHD With Simple Life Hack
US—In a groundbreaking revelation that has left the scientific community red-faced and Catholic school alumni smirking, a coalition of nuns...
Local liberal agonizes over which cold-blooded murderer to support today
SEATTLE, WA — Devoted leftist activist River Moonstone, 32, started their day with a crisis of conscience: which alleged cold-blooded...
Scientists now say that burning Teslas to the ground is better for the environment than not doing so
PALO ALTO, CA – Several scientists from the Institute of California Social Justice Science (ICSJS) released a study yesterday claiming...
BREAKING: All-Female Space Crew Aborts Mission After Failing to Parallel Park Shuttle in Orbit
VAN HORN, TX – In a galactic embarrassment for pop culture and private space travel alike, Katy Perry’s much-hyped Blue...
