EXCLUSIVE: George Floyd celebrates 5 years of sobriety
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—George Floyd, patron saint of fentanyl, celebrated four consecutive drug-free years today. Mr. Floyd famously quit taking drugs following his...
Year: 2025
Bongino Blinks “CORRUPTION” In Morse Code During TV Interview
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bombshell moment that left FOX News viewers rubbing their eyes in disbelief, conservative firebrands Dan Bongino and...
Genesius Times officially endorses AOC-Crockett 2028 Presidential Ticket: ‘It’s a No-Brainer’
In a move that has sent shockwaves through the satirical news community, the editorial board of Genesius Times, the internet’s...
BREAKING: Republicans pass $5 trillion bill to figure out how to cut spending by spending more
In a dazzling display of fiscal acrobatics, House Republicans, led by the ever-proud Speaker Mike Johnson, have passed a historic...
EYEWITNESS: Local baby recounts harrowing experience when she realized there was a fire in a neighborhood building
In a jaw-dropping exclusive with 18-month-old local legend Emma "Giggles" Thompson, the tiny tot channeled the spirit of viral sensation...
BREAKING: Biden’s proctologist Hillarina Clintosky says he has aggressive form of prostate cancer
In a medical bombshell that’s sent shockwaves through the Beltway and X’s meme factories, President Joe Biden’s personal proctologist, Dr....
BREAKING: Trump responds to Comey’s ‘8647’ post with ‘FAFO’ post
WASHINGTON, DC—President Donald Trump, currently embroiled in his second term, responded to a cryptic social media post by former FBI...
BREAKING: New York City Replaces Statue of Liberty with Provocative ‘Statue of Black Karen’
NEW YORK CITY—In a shocking and divisive move, New York City unveiled the "Statue of Black Karen" on Liberty Island...
Doctors Relieved Biden’s Prostate Nodule Was Just CNN’s Jake Tapper
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning medical revelation, doctors at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center announced today that a...
Local leftist peels off ‘All Refugees Welcome’ bumper sticker after finding out that some refugees are white
Portland – In a dramatic turn of events that has rattled the progressive community, local activist and self-described "social justice...
