Congress pauses demanding release of Epstein files in order to block release of congressional sex abuse files
In a stunning display of bipartisan unity rarely seen outside of pork-barrel spending bills, the United States House of Representatives...
Month: March 2026
WATCH: Fat Gun: Doughboy
Fat Gun: Doughboy is a political documentary that follows the bizarre and covert diplomatic mission known only as Operation Doughboy—an...
Iranian general writes scathing 1-star review for Chinese military drones purchased on Temu
Tehran, Iran — In a scathing internal review leaked to Western intelligence agencies (and promptly posted on a public Telegram...
Sources have informed Trump that the Federal Reserve is just 2 weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon
WASHINGTON, DC—Sources for Genesius Times have confirmed that the Federal Reserve is a mere two weeks from completing a fully...
BREAKING: Khamenei meets 72 virgins after he dies
TEHRAN—In a development sources close to paradise are calling “mildly disappointing yet entirely predictable,” former Iranian Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei...
BREAKING: Federal Judge overturns the killing of Iranian Ayatollah Khamenei
In a ruling that has left both the Pentagon and Tehran simultaneously relieved and mildly embarrassed, U.S. District Judge Hugh...
BREAKING: France Joins US-Iran War; Immediately Surrenders to Both Sides
PARIS — Citing “a rare moment of bipartisan exhaustion” in global affairs, France has formally declared itself a co-belligerent in...
BREAKING: Senator Lindsey Graham hospitalized with prolonged erection after US bombs Iran
WASHINGTON, DC—Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) was rushed to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center late last night after suffering what...
Ilhan Omar Condemns Trump’s Iran Strikes as ‘Racist Against Terrorists’
MINNEAPOLIS — In a blistering floor speech that lasted exactly as long as the average commercial break, Rep. Ilhan Omar...