Kavanaugh Accused of WWII War Crimes Committed Before He Was Born
In a shocking twist of events, Senate Judiciary Committee Member Diane Feinstein has brought to light accusations that SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh was associated with World War II era war crimes, a charge he flatly denies.
The accusations were made anonymously but put Kavanaugh in the thick of the Holocaust.
“This is absolutely untrue,” Kavanaugh replied in a statement. “First of all, I wasn’t even born then.”
Feinstein replied, “Next you’re going to tell me that the Holocaust was okay, I suppose?”
The accusations have given fuel to the fire of protests outside the supreme Court during the confirmation hearing.
When asked whether she believed the accusations about Kavanaugh, a pro-choice demonstrator answered, “Kava-who? I’m protesting the supreme Court nominee.”
Another protestor agreed with the accusations before hearing what they were. “Absolutely, they’re true. I mean, Kavanaugh is literally Hitler. Don’t let the difference in facial hair fool you.”
The accuser claims to be an agoraphobic and cannot be around people but is set to testify in an undisclosed location behind a foggy glass with a voice modulator at some point in the future.
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