NEW YORK—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez offered her own infrastructure bill earlier today. The bill would require the government to completely destroy all of the nation’s infrastructure and then rebuild it again. Her proposal was seen as an alternative to the Biden proposal, which AOC and her allies argue isn’t progressive enough.

“This is one of the most ambitious bills ever proposed in Congress,” AOC said while staring at a statue of Karl Marx. “Imagine destroying and then rebuilding every single part of our infrastructure system: roads, highways, bridges, railroads, power lines, sewage systems, and so on. And imagine having the entire country employed to do it!

“So while the Biden proposal is nice, it doesn’t create nearly enough jobs as my bill would, and it doesn’t violate enough laws of economics for me to support it. My proposal, however, violates every law of economics and will employ the entire country. So it’s like a great deal for the American people.”

When the CBO tried to project the estimated cost of AOC’s bill, the number it produced had so many zeroes after it that it caused all of their computers to spontaneously combust.

For her ambitious and out-of-the-box proposal, AOC later went on to win a Nobel Prize in Alternative Economics.

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Rafi Metz

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