BREAKING: Biden’s teleprompter to give first State of the Union Address
WASHINGTON, DC—Officials in the Biden administration have become increasingly worried about Biden’s mental health, especially over the high number of...
Rafi Metz
Rafi is the king of satire, a master of his trade. Nobody is immune to his hyperbolic and satirical outrage. Nobody is spared from being the object of his incessant mockery. Because at the end of the day, everyone is a parody of themselves.
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BREAKING: Dr. Fauci mixes COVID variants to create even more deadly variant “Deltacron”
WASHINGTON, DC—Dr. Fauci has been working tirelessly over the past year and a half to stay relevant for literally forever,...
Modern-day Hanukkah miracle: Local man fills up car with enough oil to last 1 day, lasts 8 days
Local New York City resident Isaac Goldberg is very familiar with Hanukkah, having celebrated the holiday since he was a...
Amid inflation, Millennials forced to ‘rent a vowel’ on Wheel of Fortune
Amid staggering inflation, Millennials have been forced to change their financial habits. Most worrisome is that Millennial contestants on Wheel...
Walmart opens new ‘Loot!’ section in all of its San Francisco-area stores
UNITED STATES—Walmart CEO Dan McMillon announced today that Walmart will have a special looting section in all of its San...
Amid inflation surge, Wheel of Fortune forced to raise price of vowels
Inflation has been hitting virtually every major sector of the economy – from gas at the pump, to food, to...
EDITORIAL: English transphobic is grammar
There are nothing in this world which aren't transphobic. Literally everything are transphobic, which include the English grammars. Yes, even...
BREAKING: G-D comes out as gender neutral, pronouns are they/them
HEAVEN—Heavenly sources confirmed today that G-D has come out as gender neutral, and Their preferred pronouns are They/Them. They Themselves...
AFT calls for schools to remain closed until death is eradicated from the universe
WASHINGTON, DC—The American Federation of Teachers (D-DC) has called for all schools to remain closed until the scourge of death...
Here are 7 ways to end the Israeli-Palestinian conflict
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is as old as American pie. OK, maybe not that old, but it sure seems that way....
