OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said in a statement that he would let the Truckers Convoy for Freedom continue to protest “if only they burn down a few buildings like BLM did in 2020.”

“An un-ironic peaceful protest is not acceptable. I will not let this protest stand with barbecues and bouncy castles,” Trudeau said. “I will order the Ottawa police to just trample old people to death and use sci-fi technology to harm the protesters until they submit.”

Trudeau continued, “But if some protesters burn down a few private buildings—maybe an AutoZone or a CVS—then I will let them continue protesting.”

The protests have been complete peaceful, leading top officials to scramble for any reason to let them continue.

“We cannot let people peacefully protest,” Trudeau added. “I will crush them all if they continue this. But just burn down a Rite-Aid or an apartment complex that’s under construction and you will be fine.”

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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