Zelenskyy reports finding Russian noose in his garage; demands $400 billion in US aid to retaliate

KYIV—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has reported finding a Russian noose in his presidential garage and has posted a video demanding $400 billion in US aid as reparations.

In a video following the hate crime, Zelensky makes a stirring case for more aid.

“Russians put a noose in my garage. This is a Russian attack on collective security! A hate crime! This is a very significant escalation,” Zelensky said.

US Intelligence reports contradict Zelensky’s finding, stating that the noose may have had Ukrainian origin, but recommend giving $400 billion more in aid anyway. President* Biden has agreed to the demands.

“I have no doubt that this is not our noose,” Zelensky pleaded. “I believe that this was a Russian noose, based on our rope expert reports.”

Loading

About Author

Congratulations!

You made it through the woke censors to see this post. Sign up below to get more funny directly to your inbox!

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.