BREAKING: Death by coincidence is at an all-time high

US—Medical experts from the Center for Disease Control and Perpetuation (CDC) have confirmed that deaths by coincidence are at an all-time high.

“No one can explain it,” Assistant CDC Director Hugh Janus said. “It’s a mystery. We have never seen coincidence on the list of causes of death until 2021. Now, it’s one of the leading causes.”

Coincidence has affected all demographics and age groups.

The risk is so high that the CDC have issued a campaign alerting people of the dangers.

“If you have done everything that the CDC said you should, you may be at risk of coincidence and should contact your doctor to take drugs that may help you,” the advertising states.

About Author

Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

See author's posts