Long-term politician and participant in the federal government, Joe Biden, is ready to fix Washington DC as president.

“Washington is broken and has been for a very long time,” Biden said in a campaign speech in Iowa. “And I’m the man to fix it!”

His three dozen supporters in the crowd applauded wildly at the claim.

“No one else knows how broken the system is,” Biden continued, “because, quite frankly, I was integral in every aspect of its brokenness. And that’s why I can’t tell you—make no mistake about it—I will fix the government that I broke. No one else can do it!”

One curious bystander asked, “Why haven’t you fixed it yet?”

Biden responded with a smile and, “Because then there would be no reason to elect me as president!”

Everyone loved that.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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