MILWAULKEE—Former President Donald Trump has announced his vice-presidential pick for the 2024 election: a clone of himself.

“Yes, it’s true. I’ve done it. I’ve created the perfect running mate – me!” Trump declared at the 2024 RNC Convention, surrounded by cheering supporters. “There’s nobody I trust more than myself, and now I have two of me. This is the greatest decision in the history of decisions, believe me.”

The clone, named Donald Trump Jr. Jr., was unveiled to the public with much fanfare. Sporting the same trademark hairstyle, suit, and self-confidence, Trump Jr. Jr. is the spitting image of the former president. The two even performed a synchronized dance to “Macho Man” by the Village People, leaving the crowd in awe.

“Imagine having two of me in the White House,” Trump continued. “We’re going to make America great again, again! And again! This is like having the dream team of all dream teams. I’ve been called a stable genius, and now there are two stable geniuses. It’s beautiful, it’s perfect.”

The cloning process, shrouded in secrecy, was reportedly funded by a series of mysterious donations to the Trump Foundation. Rumors abound that the project involved a team of rogue scientists, a secret laboratory in an undisclosed location, and a substantial amount of orange spray tan.

Political opponents were quick to react. “This is just another stunt,” said President Joe Biden. “But hey, at least now we know where all the hair dye went.”

Former VP Mike Pence, who famously fell out of Trump’s favor, expressed a mixture of relief and bewilderment. “I always knew there was no one Trump trusted more than himself,” Pence said. “I just didn’t realize he meant it literally.”

Meanwhile, legal experts are puzzled over the constitutional implications of having a president and vice president who are, for all intents and purposes, the same person. “This is uncharted territory,” said Professor Reginald Lawton of Harvard Law School. “There’s nothing in the Constitution about clones. I guess the Founding Fathers didn’t see this one coming.”

Despite the legal and ethical questions, Trump supporters are thrilled. “This is genius,” said Karen McAllister, a devoted fan from Florida. “Two Trumps are better than one. Now we’re really going to drain the swamp!”

The campaign slogan has already been updated to reflect the new dynamic: “Make America Great Again, Again, With Double the Trump.” Bumper stickers, hats, and T-shirts featuring the slogan and an image of the two Trumps are flying off the shelves.

Social media is abuzz with reactions. “Trump cloning himself is peak 2024,” tweeted one user. “Can’t wait for the debates. Imagine the clone wars!”

In a final flourish, Trump announced that the first order of business, should he and Trump Jr. Jr. be elected, would be to build a “tremendous” cloning facility to ensure that America always has a surplus of Trumps.

As the 2024 campaign heats up, one thing is certain: with two Trumps on the ticket, it promises to be a spectacle unlike any other. Stay tuned, America. The Trump show just got a double dose of drama.

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