EXCLUSIVE: George Floyd celebrates 3 years of sobriety
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—George Floyd, patron saint of fentanyl, celebrated three consecutive drug-free years today. Mr. Floyd famously quit taking drugs following his...
Richie Richards
Very stable genius, Richie Richards, is a writer, illustrator and fake news journalist. Get his latest children's book, Wokest Baby or popular Trump Tweets: Best of the Presidency, both on Amazon.
Military Ends Protecting What is Definitely Not a One World Government
DAVOS—As the WEF concludes, 5,000 military personnel are no longer needed to protect what is absolutely not, without a doubt,...
Pete Buttigieg caught unloading private jet from transport jet en route to Climate Conference
LONDON—President Biden’s Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg was accused by critics of attempting to stage a photo op on Saturday after...
BREAKING: Washington Commanders Win Via Mail-in Touchdowns
PHILADELPHIA—The Washington Commanders emerged victorious over the Philadelphia Eagles despite not physically attending the game. Washington won using their new...
Dr. Evil sues Alex Jones for $Gazillion Bajillion
AUSTIN- Supervillain Dr. Evil's legal team announced a new lawsuit against Alex Jones seeking a gazillion bajillion dollar settlement.Dr. Evil...
Biden Administration Changes the Definition of ‘Dementia’
As Americans continue to question President Biden's mental fitness and competency, the White House proudly announced updates to the Department...
Democrats Win Congressional Baseball Game After Run Recount at 2am
Despite early run tallies calling for a Republican victory, Democrats won the annual Congressional baseball game when extra runs were...
Justin Trudeau announces he has COVID after wife asks him to clean dishes
OTTAWA—Justin Trudeau revealed yet another case of poorly-timed COVID when his wife asked him to finish cleaning the dinner dishes.The...
Elon Musk buys Kim Kardashian and Kanye West to fix their marriage
Elon Musk announced his most recent multi-billion dollar purchases: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. “I invested in the West-Kardashian marriage...
Justin Trudeau banned from Russia; can’t return new babushka
MOSCOW—Russian officials banned Justin Trudeau from entry to the country, cancelling an upcoming meeting scheduled months ago. The Prime Minister...
