WASHINGTON, DC—In a groundbreaking revelation, 51 former intelligence officials have issued a statement declaring that rumors of Donald Trump ever having been President of the United States are nothing more than “Russian disinformation.”

“This has the classic earmarks of a Russian disinformation campaign,” stated former CIA Director John Brennan. “We’ve seen this before with Hunter Biden’s laptop. Now, they want us to believe that Donald Trump was actually president. It’s absurd.”

The officials’ statement, meticulously detailed and confidently presented, suggests that the entire period from 2017 to 2021 was an elaborate hoax orchestrated by Russian intelligence to sow discord and confusion within the United States.

Adam Schiff, former Chair of the House Intelligence Committee, added his voice to the chorus of denial. “We have hard evidence that will eventually come out proving that this so-called Trump presidency never happened. It’s all part of a sophisticated Russian scheme.”

The letter claims that all video footage, photographs, and news reports from the past four years were digitally altered or completely fabricated. “The Russians are masters of deepfake technology,” Brennan explained. “They’ve made us believe in a reality that never existed. In reality, Donald Duck was the 45th president of the United States.”

Reactions from the public have been mixed. Some citizens have expressed relief, happy to believe that the tumultuous Trump years were nothing but a bad dream. “It makes sense now,” said one New Yorker. “The last four years felt like a nightmare. Now we know why.”

Others, however, are skeptical. “If Trump was never president, then who was?” questioned a confused Midwesterner. “I distinctly remember voting in 2016. Was that all fake too?”

The officials provided no clear alternative explanation for the events of the last four years, leaving many questions unanswered. Nevertheless, their confidence in the Russian disinformation narrative remains unshaken.

In an ironic twist, the FBI has announced it will be investigating the origins of this latest disinformation campaign. “We need to get to the bottom of this,” said an unnamed FBI source. “It’s crucial that the American public knows the truth, whatever that may be.”

Meanwhile, former President Trump, or perhaps we should say ‘alleged’ former President Trump, responded to the claims via his social media platform. “More FAKE NEWS from the deep state! Sad!” he wrote, before promptly being flagged for spreading misinformation.

As the debate rages on, one thing is certain: in the era of disinformation, truth is stranger than fiction, and fiction is often mistaken for reality.

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