NEW YORK—In a stunning display of transparency and technological wizardry, the FBI has released what it claims is the definitive, unedited footage of Jeffrey Epstein’s last hours at the Metropolitan Correctional Center in New York City. The video, meticulously scrubbed of any hint of foul play, has been hailed by federal officials as the “final nail in the coffin” of conspiracy theories surrounding Epstein’s death on August 10, 2019.

“After years of tireless effort and advanced digital forensics, we can now confidently say that Jeffrey Epstein died by suicide, and no one else was involved,” declared FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino during a press conference. “The footage is crystal clear, timestamped, and free of any tampering. It’s as suicide-proof as a video can get.”

The footage, which spans several minutes, shows Epstein’s cell area with no signs of intrusion or suspicious activity. “Look, you can see the trash can, the door, and even the time stamp—8/9/2019, 9:10 PM,” Bongino pointed out, gesturing to a series of still images. “Nothing out of the ordinary. Just a man alone with his thoughts, tragically deciding to end his life.”

Attorney General Pam Bondi, who has been at the forefront of the Epstein file releases, defended the video’s authenticity. “We have ‘tens of thousands of videos of Epstein on my desk, and this is just one piece of the puzzle,” she said, inadvertently reigniting speculation about the existence of a vast, hidden archive. “But rest assured, this footage is the real deal.”

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