Experts blame climate change for making them use cloud-seeding tech to cause massive flooding throughout US
NEW YORK—Government officials have blamed climate change for making them use cloud-seeding technology to cause massive flooding throughout the United Staes.
“It’s true that we caused the flooding with cloud-seeding technology,” Dr. Hugh Jassole said. “But climate change made us do that.”
Two people died in New Jersey after their car was swept away by the floods. Public transit was largely running normally on Tuesday morning, hours after water flooded subway stations and damaged highways.
The fiasco began when a consortium of climate researchers, led by the Bill Gates Fund for Saving the Planet by Causing Disasters Project, decided to deploy cutting-edge cloud-seeding drones to “rebalance the atmosphere.”
“We’re actually saving the planet by causing disasters,” Jassole said. “The fact that there is massive flooding is proof that we need to work harder to create more floods to save the world from climate change.
“It’s climate change fighting climate change with climate change,” muttered stranded motorist Gary Schlub, clinging to a floating traffic cone on the Turnpike. “I just wanted to get to my shift at the Secaucus Waffle House, not audition for Waterworld.”
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