“How can they do this?” Occasio-Cortez asked her campaign assistant. “These filthy capitalists just appropriate Texican culture and put it in a vending machine. How can they not see how this further marginalizes voiceless peoples?” As AOC turned and looked at her assistant, wiping chili from his chin, she suddenly saw red.

“Comrade Stalin would never stand for this! He’d put his assistant in the gulag for participating in rank exploitation of indigenous peoples! I must seize the means of production, and end this capitalistic reign of terror!” It was clear at this point AOC had enough.

Her assistant is on record admitting those burritos from that capitalistic vending machine were quite tasty. “It’s good enough for a stint in the gulag if you ask me.”

About Author

Earnest O'Connor

See author's posts