After a disappointing first week of impeachment hearings for the Democrats in which no witnesses provided any proof of wrongdoing, ring leader Adam Schiff is hedging his bets.

“Did I say Trump colluded with Ukraine? No, no, no. I meant to say he colluded with Kazakhstan. He definitely colluded with Kazakhstan. We have lots of proof on that collusion. After this impeachment hearing, we’re going to start another one on Trump’s collusion with Kazakhstan.”

Many are starting to think that Schiff and others are just trying to grasp at straws in order to take down the president. Schiff has scheduled the next five years of impeachment hearings to do it once and for all.

One analyst has said that the Trump impeachment is all that Schiff has to live for.

“Ever since Schiff’s business venture of adult diapers called ‘Ooops I Schiffed My Pants’ failed miserably, he’s had a lot of free time,” political analyst Robbie Roberyson said. “this is all he has left!”

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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