NFL suspends Jaxson Dart for introducing Trump instead of beating his wife like a good NFL player
NEW YORK — The National Football League announced Tuesday that rookie quarterback Jaxson Dart has been suspended indefinitely after video...
Donald Trump
White House HOA Sends Trump Cease-and-Desist Over South Lawn UFC Cage, Slaps Him with $250 Fine
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The prestigious White House Homeowners Association (WHHOA) has formally demanded that President Donald J. Trump remove the...
Trump Hails End of Non-War to Stop Iran’s Nuclear Program That Was Already Obliterated and Reopen Strait That Wasn’t Closed
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced today the successful conclusion of a war that was not a war, praising U.S....
Trump Orders Cassidy and Cornyn to Don Three Stooges Wigs As Warning to Fellow RINOs
WASHINGTON — In a move described by White House officials as “long overdue accountability theater,” President Donald Trump has directed...
Trump Orders Blockade of Ohio River, Plans Airstrikes on Kentucky Over Massie Nuclear Threat
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that the U.S. military has established a full naval blockade of the Ohio...
Israel Alerts Trump That Thomas Massie is Just 2 Weeks from Completing Nuclear Weapon
WASHINGTON — Israeli officials have formally briefed President Donald Trump that Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) is approximately 14 days away...
BREAKING: Local Farmer Alleges Ed Gallrein Barbecued Bald Eagle at Secret Ceremony
BOONE COUNTY, Ky. — A local farmer has come forward with explosive allegations that Republican congressional candidate Ed Gallrein, who...
Trump Deploys Maintenance Crew to Correct Glaring Typo
WASHINGTON — In a decisive show of executive efficiency, Donald Trump has ordered a specialized federal maintenance team to address...
Evangelicals Finally Find a Graven Image They Can Worship
DORAL, FL — After centuries of staunchly opposing the veneration of religious statues — including centuries of criticism directed at...
Evangelicals Update the Bible: ‘Thou Shalt Have No Graven Images…Except If It’s Gold Plated and Owns the Libs’
DORAL, FL — Following a solemn blessing ceremony at Trump National Doral Miami, evangelical leaders announced a long-overdue clarification to...
