Democratic socialist and Democratic favorite in the 2020 presidential primary Bernie Sanders has been on a tear recently, laying out all the things he wants to control when he becomes dictator president.

From what businesses pay employees to college expenses to health care, Bernie knows exactly how to run every aspect of your life and he’s making it clear.

But the list of aspects of your life he knows how to run is getting so long that he’s resigned himself to only list things he doesn’t want to control from now on.

As of the time of this publishing, Bernie doesn’t plan on controlling these aspects of your life when he becomes president:

• The time you brush your teeth
• How many comrades you have
• How many genders you have
• Which gulag you want to join to be re-educated in
• When you’re going to die

A spokesman says that the list of things Bernie doesn’t want to control as president is small but it may grow if he gets too exhausted of running everyone’s lives.

About Author

Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

See author's posts