Mayor Pete takes job as San Francisco Pooper Scooper after failed presidential bid
GT political reporter, I. M Sickadisalredi, has been following Mayor Pete since the beginning of Election 2020. Although only reaching around 15% support, he’s ‘always thinking’ and making plans in the unlikely case he is not elected President of the United States, though of course he will.
With his high profile, smooth-talking, absolutely brilliant saintly demeanor and clean-cut image, Mayor Pete has been offered many jobs after his failed quest.
The Mayor admitted to GT, “Look, I’m gonna try to be re-elected Mayor in South Bend but with race riots, 99% unemployment, and all businesses having closed their doors, it may be an uphill battle. However, I’m still a really good looking, smart-sounding, totally ripped Communist and that’s exactly what people are looking for these days.”
To that end, hundreds of job offerings have been pouring in and GT has been given an exclusive look at exactly what the future holds for ” The Best Mayor in the US” according to The Gay Islamist and Christianity Today.
One of the more promising job openings, located right in the heart of San Francisco has the Mayor pretty darn excited says his manager Gaylord Bentover. The Job? “Deuce Map Cartographer”. The job description? Wanted: LGBTQ friendly, nasally challanged, eloquent genius non-gendered male or female able to differentiate doggie doo from human by sight, taste, feel or aroma: able to remember exactly where not to step and digitize the data into Ancient Heiroglyphics.” The Mayor is #123rd on the applicant list but feels confident in his chances and looks forward to living in SF using the monies stolen from South Bend and his Presidential campaign.
GT looks forward to revealing more job offerings in it’s upcoming issues so stay tuned.
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