WASHINGTON, DC—As world superpowers hurtle toward nuclear war, a Pew Pew Institute poll shows that Americans would prefer that Russian President Vladimir Putin not nuke Washington, DC until Congress is back in session in November.
“Really, if he nukes DC now, he’ll only get rid of a few enemies of the people. If he waits until Congress is back in session, he’ll get rid of most of them,” one vote Jerry Jabba said.
Putin has deployed a nuclear train and submarine in order to prepare for World War III and Russian Parliamentarians have threatened to destroy the US capital.
Most Americans are fine with Russia destroying the Northeast US but prefer if Russia waits until Congress is back.
The Belgorod, which only entered the Russian navy’s service in July, is regarded as “the epitome of a new concept of warfare,” and Poseidon is known as the “weapon of the apocalypse.”
“We’re okay with a little apocalypse as long as it takes out Congress,” Jabba added.