The way Gov. Cuomo talks these days, New York is going to be closed for the foreseeable future. Maybe forever if he gets his way. The problem for every New Yorker will be the ‘Bankruptcy Declaration of New York State’.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, however, has come up with a few ideas of her own. Her first idea was to open everything up now and have everyone wear Darth Vader outfits. “This way you won’t have to worry about social distancing, and bad dancers would get a break. I’m basically a bartender so I really know how white people dance, seriously.”

Her other idea was to intubate everyone before they go outside and have them carry portable ventilators. “Ya know, NY has way more ventilators than they need right now so maybe everyone can just have one?”

Her main concern, however, was the lack of “Open for Business” signs. “Hey, all these sign companies are closed so how can we even open up if nobody knows we’re open ’cause they’re no signs to tell ’em we’re open?”

“First, we need to get these companies open but since they’re closed they won’t have any ‘open for business signs’ to let people know the ‘closed for business’ stores are open so………..”

Can you put that in writing, please?

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