Hello, beautiful Earth warriors! It’s your friendly neighborhood AOC here, and today, I need to talk to you about a crisis that’s been weighing heavily on my heart – the silent plight of our feathered friends, the ducks. Specifically, the ducks sacrificed for the production of tape.

Picture this: a serene pond, ducks happily quacking away, only to be abruptly plucked from their idyllic surroundings and thrust into a world of adhesive turmoil. It’s a tragic tale of sticky proportions that I, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, must share with you.

In the hallowed halls of Congress, amid discussions of climate change and policy shifts, one issue has recently waddled its way into my consciousness – the environmental impact of duck tape. Not the shiny silver roll we use to fix things, mind you, but the actual ducks that allegedly contribute to its production.

I know what you’re thinking, “AOC, are you quackers?” But bear with me, my fellow eco-warriors, for this is a tale of tape and turmoil.

It has come to my attention that somewhere in the shadowy underbelly of industry, innocent ducks are allegedly being recruited for adhesive extraction duties. It’s a quackspiracy of epic proportions! These ducks, with their webbed feet and iridescent plumage, are thrust into a life of servitude, all in the name of our tape-related conveniences.

Now, I’m not suggesting we live in a world without tape – let’s not get too sticky about this. Instead, I propose a quacktastic revolution! Let’s embrace alternatives like soy-based or recycled tape, sparing our feathered friends from their sticky fate.

I envision a future where ducks paddle freely in ponds, undisturbed by the looming threat of becoming unwilling contributors to our stickiness. It’s a world where every quack counts, and no duck is left behind in the pursuit of adhesive solutions.

Some may say I’m quacking up with this new environmental cause, but let’s not be fowled by naysayers. The time has come to make tape choices that don’t stick it to our duck comrades.

Join me, fellow Earth stewards, in the quack for change! Together, we can ensure a tapestry of life where every duck is free to paddle, quack, and live their best feathered lives.

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