BREAKING: Biden pardons all criminals except cute old grandma who waved flag in Capitol Jan 6
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has issued an executive order pardoning all federal criminals and transferring their collective sentences to an...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Trump selects Genesius Times to replace CNN as official White House Fake News provider
WASHINGTON, DC—Donald Trump has announced that the Genesius Times will replace CNN as the official White House Fake News provider....
Trump Hollywood Envoy’s replaces fire-damaged Hollywood sign with “Trump Won”
HOLLYWOOD—In a bold and highly controversial move, Donald Trump's newly appointed Hollywood envoy, consisting of Mel Gibson, Jon Voight, and...
BREAKING: New fake government climate data in line with completely fabricated climate forecast
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of governmental efficiency and creativity, the Department of Fabrication (DoF) has released a new set...
In lieu of aid, Kamala enrolls California fire victims in Jelly of the Month Club
SACRAMENTO, CA — In what can only be described as a masterstroke of administrative innovation, Vice President Kamala Harris has...
Hunter Biden claims new ‘masterpieces’ lost in wildfire were totally worth $200 million
LOS ANGELES—In a bizarre twist to the already tumultuous narrative surrounding Hunter Biden, the son of President Joe Biden, has...
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ
WASHINGTON, DC—Pete Hegseth, clad in full medieval knight regalia, stormed into the Senate Armed Forces Committee hearing with the zeal...
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Biden reassures California wildfire victims he will be sending $100 billion to Ukraine in their name
LOS ANGELES—In a heartfelt gesture of international solidarity, President* Joe Biden assured the victims of California’s devastating wildfires that while...
AOC horrified that people are using gas-powered blowtorches instead of solar-powered one to start wildfires in California
In an astonishing revelation that has left the progressive community reeling, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) expressed her horror upon discovering...
Gavin Newsom unveils fully-developed ‘totally spontaneous’ plans to rebuild Los Angeles after fires
In a move that has absolutely nothing to do with prior preparation, California Governor Gavin Newsom has unveiled detailed, fully...
