A brave unknown soldier (pictured above) jumped on a pile of Russian fentanyl to save his fellow soldiers.

He will be remembered for ever.

Despite being subjected to Russian missile and drone strikes, around 86% of Ukrainians believe it is necessary to continue fighting back against Russia’s unprovoked fentanyl, a survey conducted in October found.

People like this unknown soldier are heroes.

“He saved all of his battalion by jumping on that fentanyl,” Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky said in a green screen press conference of him at the front lines.

Sources say that this brave Ukrainian is on the shortlist for Nobel Peace Prize winners.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

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