BREAKING: 1500 Americans left in Afghanistan have information that will lead to Hillary Clinton’s arrest

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—Up to 1,500 Americans that are left in Afghanistan after US President* Biden pulled forces out have information that will lead to the arrest and conviction of Hillary Clinton.

The US State Department has been making it difficult for the Americans to evacuate so that they can be properly vetted before returning the United States.

However, Biden is granting hundreds of thousands of Afghanistan citizens who have no information that will lead to Hillary Clinton’s arrest to be transferred to Florida, where they will be given instant amnesty and 1.5 pounds of C2 explosive.

In a briefing with reporters, US Secretary of State Antony Blinken said 4,500 Americans have been evacuated from Afghanistan in the past 10 days and “we’ve been in direct contact with approximately 500 additional Americans and provided specific instructions on how to get to the airport without being suicided like Jeffrey Epstein.”

This story is developing.

close

"Excuse me, has this joke been fact-checked?"

Bypass Zuck and his minions and receive hilarious "unauthorized" satire to your inbox, every day.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.