BREAKING: Africa is cancelled after experts discover historical links to slavery

As conversations about race relations surprisingly ramp up during a major U.S. election year, people all around the world are reconsidering their views on music, entertainment, and pancake syrup with historical links to the transatlantic slave trade.

This week, experts have learned most African-American slaves came from the continent of Africa. 

This startling discovery has led many to condemn the land mass for its historical contributions to a system of oppression that has had ripple effects on black people to this day.

Pro-black organizations throughout the western world have claimed they feel disappointed and betrayed by their motherland. A new Instagram trend has even emerged where black people burn their dashiki clothing because they “refuse to wear the clothing of the oppressor.”

As a result of the massive public backlash, countless jewelry companies have cut ties with the continent. “Using child slaves to harvest blood diamonds in the present is one thing,” Zales put out in a corporate press release. “But when slavery happens in the past, we’ve truly regressed as a society.”