EGYPT—An archeological mission just unearthed a new tomb in Al-Bhidenfa in southern Egypt. The discovery includes well preserved mummies, artwork, sculptures and boxes of 2020 mail-in ballots for various swing states.
The contents and sarcophagi date back to approximately the 28th Dynasty, circa 400 BC. The tomb has not been opened since.
The ballots have been shipped to voting precincts in Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania for scientific analysis.
While the dig is still in its early stages, the total amount of artifacts may not be known for months. “It’s a very big tomb,” said Prof. Cathy Freud of Woketown University. “We expect to continue to unearthing statues and boxes of ballots until the US election is called.”
Access to this exciting discovery is limited to only a few select archeologists. Republican tomb watchers were banned from overseeing the excavation process.
“It’s the discovery of a lifetime,” exclaimed Professor Freud, “that coincidentally happens every two years on US election days.”