BREAKING: Biden hires new sign language interpreter

WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden’s administration has once again found itself embroiled in controversy. This time, it’s not about policy decisions or political gaffes – it’s about a new addition to the White House communications team.

Meet Manuel “Manny” Rodríguez, the latest hire for the position of sign language interpreter. While Rodríguez may seem like an unconventional choice for such a role, given his lack of formal training or experience in American Sign Language (ASL) and the fact that he just flips Americans off constantly, the Biden administration insists that he’s the perfect fit for the job.

“We wanted someone who could truly capture the essence of the president’s message,” explained White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre during a recent press briefing. “And Manny’s unique style of communication really resonated with us.”

But it didn’t take long for Rodríguez’s interpretation skills – or lack thereof – to come under scrutiny. During a live broadcast of President Biden’s latest address on immigration reform, Rodríguez was caught on camera making what appeared to be obscene gestures while supposedly interpreting the president’s words.

“This isn’t right. I mean people hard of hearing should be able to see what Biden’s saying not just get flipped off constantly,” remarked one viewer who witnessed the debacle.

But Jean-Pierre clarified that that’s exactly what Biden is constantly telling the American people though he uses different words so it works.

Indeed, Rodríguez’s interpretation of Biden’s speech seemed to consist mainly of aggressive hand gestures and frequent middle finger salutes, leaving many viewers confused and offended.

When asked to comment on his unorthodox approach to sign language interpretation, Rodríguez remained defiant.

“I’m just keeping it real, man,” he shrugged. “Sometimes words fail to convey the true depth of emotion, you know? So I figured I’d let my hands do the talking.”

While some have praised Rodríguez for his “refreshing honesty” and “unconventional approach,” others have called for his immediate removal from the White House communications team.

“It’s bad enough that we have to decipher President* Biden’s rambling speeches,” quipped one critic. “Now we have to decipher the sign language interpreter too? It’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube with one hand tied behind your back.”

As calls for Rodríguez’s resignation continue to mount, one thing remains clear: the Biden administration’s quest for inclusivity and diversity has once again led them down a path of unintended consequences. Whether Rodríguez will continue to flip the bird while interpreting the president’s words remains to be seen, but one thing is for sure – he’s definitely making a statement.


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