BREAKING: Biden outlaws shooting people at grocery stores

Following a mass shooting in Boulder, Colorado Monday, President Biden has decided to take unprecedented measures to protect the country and has outlawed shooting people at grocery stores in the US via executive order.

“There are easy things we can do to stop the violence that is plaguing this country and I’m going to do them. As of today, the entire nation of America is a shooting-free zone,” Biden said.

Citizens around the world are applauding the move as brilliant and innovative.

“This is probably the smartest person we’ve ever had in the White House,” Jerry Jabba of Bronx, New York said.

Other countries have yet to catch on to the brilliant idea that simply outlawing something is going to prevent it from ever happening.

Now that that problem is solved, Biden get back to more important things like eliminating gender.