BREAKING: Biden vows to punish whoever released illegal leaks all over the White House

In a statement released today, the Biden administration has vowed to find and punish whoever is responsible for repeatedly releasing leaks all over the White House.

According to sources within the administration, the issue first came to light several weeks ago when staff members noticed a distinct smell coming from one of the hallways. Upon investigation, they discovered that the source of the odor was a large puddle of urine on the floor.

Since then, there have been multiple incidents of urination throughout the White House, including on furniture, in hallways, and even in the Oval Office.

“This is an unacceptable and disgusting behavior,” said a White House spokesperson. “We are taking this issue very seriously and will do everything in our power to identify and punish the individual or individuals responsible.”

The administration has launched an investigation into the matter, and security cameras have been installed throughout the building in an attempt to catch the culprit.

But the search has not been without controversy. Some members of the administration have criticized the investigation, saying that it is a waste of time and resources.

“We have much bigger issues to deal with than someone releasing illegal leaks on the carpet,” said one senior advisor. “We should be focusing on the war in Ukraine, not this.”

Despite the criticism, the administration remains determined to find the perpetrator and bring them to justice.

“We will not rest until the individual responsible is held accountable,” said the spokesperson. “This behavior is completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated in the White House or anywhere else.”

As of yet, no suspects have been identified, but the investigation continues. The White House is urging anyone with information to come forward and help bring an end to this disgusting and disruptive behavior.


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