BREAKING: Congress narrowly avoids being fiscally responsible again

WASHINGTON, DC—In a feat of financial acrobatics that left economists shaking their heads and taxpayers reaching for aspirin, Speaker Mike Johnson and the illustrious members of Congress narrowly avoided stumbling into the treacherous terrain of fiscal responsibility once more.

The high-stakes game of budgetary brinkmanship played out on the grand stage of Capitol Hill, where the fate of the nation’s financial wellbeing hung in the balance. With the precision of a trapeze artist navigating a financial circus, Speaker Johnson led Congress through a series of legislative acrobatics, narrowly missing the dreaded net of fiscal prudence.

As the clock ticked down to the fiscal responsibility deadline, Speaker Johnson addressed the nation with a somber tone befitting a high-wire act teetering on the edge. “Folks, we’ve once again averted the looming catastrophe of responsible budgeting. Rest assured, the deficit remains our favorite pastime, and we wouldn’t want to disappoint.”

Congress, in a stunning display of bipartisan coordination, voted to extend the deadline for making any semblance of a fiscally sound decision. Political analysts marveled at the intricate dance of legislative maneuvers, which seemed to be choreographed to the tune of “Money” by Pink Floyd.

In an exclusive backstage interview, Speaker Johnson revealed the secret to their success: “It’s all about balance, you see. Too much fiscal responsibility, and the whole show loses its thrill. We aim to keep the audience on the edge of their seats, wondering if we’ll ever take the plunge into economic sensibility.”

Financial experts, who had been nervously watching the performance, expressed a mix of relief and exasperation. “It’s a classic case of kicking the can down the road,” remarked economist Penny Wise. “But hey, as long as the road is paved with deficit dollars, who are we to complain?”

As the curtain fell on yet another daring escapade in fiscal irresponsibility, the audience – comprised of taxpayers, economists, and reality show enthusiasts – erupted in a mixture of applause and bemused laughter. One can’t help but wonder when the next act of this financial circus will unfold, but for now, the show must go on – deficit and all.


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