WASHINGTON, DC—The Federal Bureau of Investigation has opened several investigations into the angry parents of the Uvalde, Texas mass shooting.
“In the wake of another deadly high-casualty shooting, we must do everything we can to protect the regime,” FBI Director Christopher Wray said in a press conference. “Mama bears are the number one threat in this country.”
Attorney General Merrick Garland echoed the sentiment.
“Clearly, we are dealing with unmitigated evil in these parents that dare to challenge the authorities,” Garland said.
Video showed several parents who were upset that police officers weren’t addressing the shooting and instead pinning parents to the ground. The FBI has said that these parents are domestic terrorists.
“We cannot have parents trying to stop our false flag operations,” Wray said. “They need to be punished swiftly to the full extent of the law.”
Wray promised that there will never again be an incident in which parents can express their anger.