BREAKING: Mitt Romney demands recount of 2012 election

Business mogul and current U. S. Senator Mitt Romney is now demanding a full recount from the 2012 presidential election. Romney explains that changes in just four swing states would have made him president over Barack Obama. Romney told Genesius Times, “If my campaign had taken just Florida, Illinois, Minnesota and Wisconsin the election would have been decided in our favor.”

Romney’s primary complaint is that too many Republicans voted in those states. Romney says, “If you look at exit polls you will see that I was winning with Democrats, socialists, environmentalists and pro-abortion extremists. The only group I lost during the election was Republicans.”

Romney says he expects the Supreme Court to hear his appeal any day now.
He continued saying, “They placed the case on the Supreme Court docket for January 2021, just five years after Barack Obama completed his second term as president. Romney hopes the court will decide in his favor, turn back time to 2012 and then install him as the official president eight years
ago.

Romney explains, “That’s the way elections work when courts discover fraud. They will send us back in time, undo the fraudulent presidency and install an entirely different president instead. That’s why elected Republicans never feel we must win the battle we are in. If we lose this battle, we’ll just go forward and fix it in the future-past.”

Other Republicans nodded their heads in agreement, with Mitch McConnell
tapping his foot as if the words represented some sort of country dance number. All agreed that it would be better not to fight this battle so as to win a different battle at some unspecified future date.

close

"Excuse me, has this joke been fact-checked?"

Bypass Zuck and his minions and receive hilarious "unauthorized" satire to your inbox, every day.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.