BREAKING: Navy promotes drag queen recruiter to Rear Admiral

In a groundbreaking move that is sure to raise a well-manicured eyebrow or two, the United States Navy has proudly announced the promotion of a drag queen recruiter to the rank of Rear Admiral. This unprecedented decision marks a new era of inclusivity and fabulousness within the armed forces.

Yeoman 2nd Class Joshua Kelley, a beloved figure within the drag community, has been an influential force in attracting diverse talent to the Navy. Known for their impeccable fashion sense, flawless makeup, and ability to command attention with a single hair flip, Commander Away has shattered the stereotype of the stern military recruiter.

The US Navy has also made the super gay “In the Navy” song by the Village People the official battle hymn.

The promotion ceremony was a glittering affair, with sailors trading in their traditional uniforms for sequined sailor suits and high-heeled combat boots. The event featured a jaw-dropping performance by the newly promoted rear admiral, who showcased their talents in a dazzling display of high-energy lip-syncing and intricate dance moves.

As news of the promotion spread, reactions among Navy personnel were as varied as the colors of a rainbow flag. Some embraced the change, recognizing that diversity and inclusivity can only strengthen the armed forces. Others, however, struggled to comprehend the correlation between drag queens and military leadership.

Critics argued that the promotion sends a confusing message to recruits, blurring the line between military professionalism and a fabulous drag extravaganza. Questions were raised about how a rear admiral in full drag would be received during diplomatic missions or on the battlefield. Nevertheless, the Navy remained steadfast in its commitment to embracing individuals from all walks of life.

In response to concerns, the Navy unveiled a new line of uniforms designed by a renowned fashion designer, blending the classic military aesthetic with a touch of drag queen flair. The new outfits feature sparkling epaulets, custom-designed berets, and perfectly tailored pantsuits that are guaranteed to turn heads on land and sea.

With the promotion of Kelley, the Navy hopes to inspire a new generation of recruits who might have never considered a career in the armed forces before. After all, who wouldn’t want to serve their country while simultaneously serving fierce looks and dropping fabulous catchphrases?

In the spirit of inclusivity, the Navy has also announced plans to hold an annual Drag Queen Pageant on board aircraft carriers, further solidifying their commitment to celebrating individuality and unapologetic self-expression. It’s safe to say that the Navy is taking a bold step forward, strutting towards a future where the catwalk and the warzone can coexist in perfect harmony.

So, prepare for a Navy like no other – one that embraces diversity, fosters self-confidence, and knows that true power comes from walking in heels. The United States Navy is ready to set sail on a fabulous journey towards a future where individuality reigns supreme, and where even the highest-ranking officers can serve in style.


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