BREAKING: Oscar the Grouch Endorses Trump After Biden’s Garbage Comment

SESAME STREET—Long time resident Oscar the Grouch surprised the nation today by officially endorsing Donald Trump for president, citing President Biden’s recent remark referring to Trump supporters as “garbage.”

“Listen,” Oscar said in a press conference from his iconic trash can. “If anyone knows garbage, it’s me. And calling people ‘garbage’ like that—well, that’s just unprofessional. I can’t support it.”

Oscar, known for his love of filth and unapologetically grouchy demeanor, said he felt personally attacked by Biden’s comments. “I’ve lived in garbage my whole life, and you know what? It’s not so bad. If Biden thinks being garbage is a bad thing, then frankly, I think he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Typical politician—out of touch.”

The endorsement shocked many political analysts, as Oscar’s public statements have typically been limited to complaining about his neighbors and the state of recycling in the U.S. But the grouchy puppet made it clear that this election was different.

“Trump understands that it’s okay to embrace the trash in life,” Oscar explained. “He’s not afraid to roll around in the mess, just like me. It’s refreshing. Biden can take his ‘clean and nice’ attitude somewhere else. I’m not here for that. I’m here for the chaos.”

Oscar’s decision immediately drew criticism from other Sesame Street residents. Big Bird released a statement calling Oscar’s endorsement “disappointing and irresponsible.” Elmo followed suit, tearfully announcing that he would be unfriending Oscar on all social media platforms.

Meanwhile, Trump welcomed the endorsement with open arms. “Oscar’s a good friend, a tremendous friend,” Trump said at a rally. “He gets it. Life is messy. Trash cans? Beautiful, wonderful things—big, strong, the best cans. And Oscar, let me tell you, he knows a thing or two about loyalty.”

In a playful nod to his new ally, Trump even donned a “Make Trash Great Again” hat onstage.

White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre responded to the endorsement with confusion. “We were not aware that Oscar the Grouch was eligible to vote,” she said. “We are currently reviewing the situation and consulting with legal experts.”

As the endorsement went viral, Oscar ended his press conference by tossing a handful of banana peels at reporters. “I don’t care what anyone says,” he grumbled. “At least Trump knows how to play in the mud. And that’s the kind of leadership this country needs.”

Oscar then retreated into his can, slamming the lid shut with finality, though muffled grumbles could still be heard: “Garbage? Please. I am garbage—and proud of it.”

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