WASHINGTON, DC—The Pentagon confirmed today that there have been legitimate sightings of aliens in and around the Chicago area. Residents are warned to stay in their homes until the threat level is assessed.
The aliens appear with big heads and bug eyes with fish mouths and appear to only want to speak to their kind.
It’s not clear what solar system or dimension these creatures originate but they are certainly scary to behold.
Many Chicago residents are scared to walk out of the house for fear of running into one of these hideous beasts with crazy hair.
“They’re really scary,” Lincoln Park resident Tanya Fherring said. “They look like they’re going to gobble you up with their bulging eyes and if that doesn’t work, their disgusting suction-cup mouths.”
The US military has confirmed several unidentified flying objects recently and former President Obama filmed a video stating the legitimacy of the threat.