VATICAN CITY—Pope Leo XIV has thrown his mitre into the ring, offering to mediate a high-stakes peace summit between former President Donald Trump and billionaire visionary Elon Musk. The pontiff’s unprecedented proposal comes amid escalating tensions between the two larger-than-life figures, whose feud has reportedly reached biblical proportions.

The conflict, dubbed “The Great Ego-Schism” by social media pundits, began when Trump tweeted at 3 a.m., “Elon’s Cybertrucks are a DISASTER—low turnout, bad range, NOBODY wants them! I could build a better truck with my bare hands, folks, believe me.”

Trump even invited Mark Zuckerberg to the White House and told him, “You’re Elon now.”

Musk fired back, posting a meme of a golden-haired robot labeled “AI Trump” short-circuiting in a Tesla factory, captioned, “Low battery, lower IQ.”

Sources close to the Vatican say Pope Leo, known for his bold diplomatic moves and a penchant for tweeting papal blessings in emoji form, sees this as a divine opportunity. “His Holiness believes that if he can broker peace between these two titans, he might just prevent a global meltdown—or at least a really awkward X thread,” a cardinal whispered, requesting anonymity for fear of being unfollowed by both parties.

The proposed talks, tentatively scheduled for next month, would take place in the Sistine Chapel, with Michelangelo’s The Last Judgment looming overhead as a subtle reminder to “chill out.” Insiders reveal the agenda includes key sticking points: Trump’s demand that Musk rename Starlink to “TrumpLink,” and Musk’s counter-insult that Trump’s hair “defies the laws of physics more than my Hyperloop ever will.”

Vatican logistics are already in motion. The Swiss Guard is reportedly training to handle potential disruptions, including Trump arriving via golden golf cart and Musk landing a SpaceX rocket on St. Peter’s Square. Catering plans are trickier: Trump has requested “the best Vatican hamburgers, nobody does it better,” while Musk insists on a menu of lab-grown meat and Neuralink-controlled wine pours.

Pope Leo remains optimistic, issuing a statement via carrier pigeon: “In the spirit of unity, I call upon Donald and Elon to lay down their keyboards and embrace dialogue. Also, please don’t bring flamethrowers or fake news to the Vatican. Amen.”

If successful, this could mark a new era of peace—or at least a viral livestream. If not, the world braces for a potential Trump-Musk joint venture: a gold-plated Cybertruck with a “Space Force” logo, hurtling toward the moon on a collision course with history.

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